Because Asking Is Hard

Originally posted to my Tumblr in 2013. Apologies for the ableism.

So, this blog post happened. Here are a few lowlights:

"I’m fascinated by this idea of consent throughout every single kind of possible sex act. Basically, if there’s one single thing you do to or with a woman while having sex that’s not 100 percent agreed upon up front then you’re committing rape."

Because, after all, this is never, ever, ever how consent works in any non-sexual context. If you agree to play Scrabble today, then you will also agree to play Scrabble with me whenever I want, even if you’re busy, not feeling well, or just don’t feel like playing. Also, by agreeing to play Scrabble with me, you’re also automatically agreeing to play Candy Land, Mortal Kombat, Risk, Monopoly, Dungeons & Dragons, and Super Mario Bros., whenever I want, even if you hate some or all of those other games. This is totally not a ridiculous way to go about getting friends to play Scrabble with you, and there’s just no way at all that they could possibly stop wanting to be your friends if you treat them this way. Besides, asking, “Hey, wanna play Scrabble?” before busting out the board and tiles and playing your first word is just so much work. The only folks who think you have to do this every single time you play Scrabble are the folks who agree to play Scrabble of their own free will, lose, and then go around to their friends talking about how you coerced them into playing Scrabble against their will. Because, you know, this is how normal, sane people behave when they play a Scrabble game they didn’t enjoy.

"You buy the ticket, you take the ride."

If I buy a ticket to ride on the Ferris wheel, get in a line labeled “Ferris wheel, this way,” and then when I get to the front of the line I discover that I’ve actually been in line for the Tilt-A-Whirl this whole time and that I now have to ride the Tilt-A-Whirl instead, I have every right to be upset.